I took some lyrics from Mastodon’s song Oblivion for today’s prompt:
Faster than stars falling
How can I tell you that I ve failed?
Tell you I failed
Falling from grace ’cause I’ve been away too long
Leaving you behind with my lonesome song
Now I’m lost in oblivion, oblivion, oblivion
Darned if these lyrics didn’t strike a sensitive nerve with me. I feel as if I’ve failed in so many things. I’m not working. I used to keep a very neat house and nice garden, but it’s so hard to keep up with nowadays. I’ve missed out on many things in life and most of all feel so guilty because I’ve let down the people closest to me. I haven’t been fully present for them even on good days. I’m.never 100% who I’m supposed to be, so I feel as if I’ve cheated my loved ones.
“Falling from grace ’cause I’ve been away too long. Leaving you behind with my lonesome song.” Why haven’t I been able to do more with my husband and kids? I said no so many years to movies, to where we could have gonecout as a family. As a migraineur I have been so isolated and in my own oblivion. This hurts to admit, and I don’t get a do-over. It’s not as if I can go back in time and do anything differently. With migraines in the picture, the sacrifices in my life have been great. Migraine Disease has forced me to live a half life.
I wish things could have been different. I know my family loves me and would forgive me in a heartbeat. I guess I need to do the same for myself.
June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders.
The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of http://FightingHeadacheDisorders.com