Warning: Bitch fest
This is my fifth day of migraine medication abstinence, and so far it’s not going very well. I’ve had reasonably good portions of two days, but the rest of the time’s been miserable. It upsets me because I feel as if this no medication protocol was imposed on me. I didn’t have the same relationship with my semi-retiring neurologist as I do with my endocrinologist. With the latter, he seeks my input and it’s a team effort. But the neuro said this was going to happen, and I think he wanted to show my incoming new neurologist that he’s done Everything possible for me.
Happier times: functioning with triptans at Disneyland in front of “It’s a Small World” with my daughter, Jana, one month ago
Please know I do not choose migraines. They have been with me on a regular basis long before I ever tried a triptan and even longer before I was taking any pain relievers on a regular basis. I have been taken off Vicodin five different times for 1 four month period, one two month period, a seven month time frame and an eleven month abstinence. I went off triptans for almost three months. Migraines still reigned! So now, I feel like I am being punished for suffering from migraines and not being able to stop them.
I understand there is such a thing as medication overuse headache. Yet this isn’t the case with everyone. I have been through the mill before and here I go again. I was down last night by nine pm with a bad migraine and here it is fifteen hours later, and I still have the same migraine. But there’s a bonus too! From laying in bed so long, my back went out and now I can barely move. I’m not happy. I feel so dishonored as a migraine patient and a person.
I would have been more willing to withdraw once again from meds had it been more of a partnership effort along with more mentoring other than here’s a prescription for prednisone to get you through the first two weeks, good luck! So here I am, hurting and wasting precious time in my life that I won’t get back. There will never be another New Year’s Eve 2015. I can’t move right now to take Christmas things down.
I hope maybe this will have a better outcome. I hope one month off meds will be enough of a trial for this new doctor. It’s hard to imagine going through three more weeks of this torture, let alone seven. For those of you who don’t get migraines, think of when you get a brain freeze. That’s what I’ve had in my left temple now for the fifteen plus hours. I would be in bed, but it’s killing the back. I was just fine before. Really. I could deal. Why couldn’t the doctor have just let well enough alone? Or sought out and respected my input?
I would never take my life, but I can understand why some migrainuers do. Especially when it feels as if you’re stuck between what you know helps and what the doctors say is bad. If something else worked, that’d be awesome, but I’ve tried so many things and nothing works.
Disclaimer: Any medications or treatments mentioned in my blog posts are my opinions only. Please consult a physician before undergoing anything for a condition
I hold on to hope though. It’s all I can do.
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