This zen time I’ve chosen for myself is more than just doing nothing. It’s about regrouping and figuring out how to do better next time. Also, it means keeping my mind open to the wisdom of others.
Hello, Martha Beck! How often have I read her articles and books, vowing to take away unnecessary angst and stress with the tools she has given her readers? For instance, I remember she mentioned answering back to yourself “so” as in “so what, who cares” if something was bothering you. For me, it’s that the neighbors might be outside, and if I turn on the light in order to read, they can see right in. If I answered “so” then I wouldn’t care if they could see me. But I’ve always chosen the angst route, and sacrificed doing what I want. Why?
In the September 2015 O The Oprah Magazine, Martha Beck is on point as always in an article called “Life’s Not Fair”. I love it because it’s as if she had written to me specifically. Instead of choosing stress, anger, and angst over someone else’s behavior, I should experience an “Integrity Cleanse”. This calls to me because I’ve so often used “I Know My Truth” as a mantra, yet I rarely defend it when it needs defending. Martha suggests that we speak our truth, then act on it, no matter what.
And this is exactly what other people may be inclined to do, without caring how I feel. Martha even hits the hammer on the nail in my situation by saying “…stating your beliefs to bigots – such actions may feel like dropping atom bombs on your own safety. You’ll certainly be afraid. Maybe sad and angry as well. But almost immediately, you’ll also feel an indescribable relief, as if a broken bone that healed badly has been reset in its correct alignment.”
Martha mentions practicing the Integrity Cleanse and that “you’ll find ways of thriving in the world as yourself, not someone else’s puppet”. I so appreciate this wise advice and I will put it into practice – not against the occasional slur or opinion, but rather against the diatribe(s) of a certain someone(s) so that I no longer seethe in silence or bang my fist onto a car door frame after two hours of being stuffed with the yelling about everyone who doesn’t conform to person(s) way of thinking. My personal reminder to try and do better is very much there on the right side of my wrist bone. Was that ever a stupid move! Martha, take me away!