Smudge Sun

How do you get over yourself?

You cry when the mother of the groom walks down the aisle with her son and in an instant you remember twenty two years ago when she came over and set up a play date for your son and hers:  Tim and Cody.  Now he’s getting married, and here comes the bride, and she looks beautiful, and the setting is gorgeous, and you lose it some more.  Nicole marrying Cody.

You watch the bride and groom and their bridal party take the floor and do ” . . .the whip, whip, whip – now watch me nae nae”. Tim is the best man and Terry who’s now married himself is a groomsman.  The three boys were inseparable as kids, part of a bond of four boys with their other friend Josh.  You can’t help but skim over the memories when they were younger, like flipping through photos in the mind’s eye.

You learn a new song that your kids and nieces and nephews are having fun with, and you do the Cupid Shuffle on a wedding reception dance floor in a big beautiful yard overlooking a pond.

You look at a smudge sun setting on a smoky western horizon.  The picture doesn’t fully capture the beauty and the specialness of this filtered orange globe.  Smoke has lifted enough to allow peacefulness on the ground but has hazed everything higher up in a memorable way.


The world is so much bigger than me.  Other people’s negativeness is just that:  other people’s.  I can be pretty damned annoying myself.  No one is perfect and neither am I.  Can’t change other people.  Better change how I deal.

That’s how you get over things:  a bride and groom, family, love, dancing and one unique smudge sun.

About andreamarjulie

Just trying to navigate a life circumvented by chronic migraines. Sometimes I write about managing with those, but at other times I am prone to deviate a bit.
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