Is This Really What It’s Come Down To?

Not expecting much out of my neurology appointment and feeling under the weather from a rare cold, I nonetheless plowed through and attended as usual.  Way back when, I had hope, but that was about ten years ago.  My PCP who had been handling my migraine care just fine decided I should at least try a specialist, especially after Topomax proved to be a failure.  However, so many meds and procedures and four different neuros later, I’ve lost almost all hope for what they can do for me.  In fact, I still hold a bit of a grudge against my current one for scolding me like a child and taking away my one measly Vicodin a day.

So no, I wasn’t expecting much on this latest appointment.  The doctor and I sat reviewing all the meds I’d been on and all the treatments I’d tried where nothing helped.  He insinuated that my pain level 6 migraines that I mostly experienced were something I was tolerating.  I wish I could have asked him what he expected I do?  I have no choice but to tolerate them, given no other.

Yet that wasn’t the least of it.  He asked if I’d had physical therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy.  Yes and no.  He talked about my finding a zen spot where I could relax, look for the positive and enjoy nature.  A zen spot?  Really? 

People, I know it is better to think positively.  It’s not good to have a negative attitude as it can trigger migraines.  I do get that.  I try to think positively and to be mellow and watch the birds at the feeder (yes, he said that too).  All the while I’m thinking, yes, I know this, but for real — it’s come down to this?  This is all I’m being offered anymore?  Nothing to address the pain, just go off and be a happy little camper.  Don’t rock the boat, old woman.  Just do as your told.  Let me tell you, if I didn’t have support within my family, I might choose a different path than to continue plodding along like a stupid idiot.  I feel rotten about this. 

Any medications or treatments mentioned are from my personal experience only and not to be construed as advice.  Please seek out a physician if you have migraines or any medical concern.

About andreamarjulie

Just trying to navigate a life circumvented by chronic migraines. Sometimes I write about managing with those, but at other times I am prone to deviate a bit.
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