I am armed and loaded, not with medication, but with a protective coating of positivity. Out with the negative, gray, soul-sucking, migraine fueling thoughts. In with sunshine, lollipops, daisies and a Pollyanna attitude.
No, this banishing of the endless loop of negative self-talk will not cure my migraines. Indeed, as I write this, I’ve had my head swathed in ice packs all day. I am under migraine attack at a just barely tolerable level. Anything higher than a six on my personal pain scale means lights out and down for the count. Below or at the six, I try to be as much a part of the world as I can. Even if I’m frozen in place, I’m still participating in life on some level.
In the past, my grousing about the lack of doctors’ understanding as well as my losing more control of my life without better pain management has gotten me nowhere. Why keep perpetuating the same complaints over and over and over? Sure, in a perfect world I would be able to receive excellent help. But then again, in a perfect world there would be no chronic migraines, no cancer, no diseases or disorders. Since the world is instead imperfect, why not try to make the best of it?
Please note that I did say the word “try”. This is a challenge for me. I think in life, we’re surrounded by complaints about everything. Some people we have in our lives can seriously affect our mindsets.
But little steps is what I’m working on. I see my negative thoughts floating past as if on an old factory conveyor belt, and I visualize plucking them off and sending them to oblivion. It’s not easy, that’s for sure, but I know the negativity is weeding out the flowers of my soul and it has to stop. I have to show myself some love in this moment, migraines and all. Who knows? Maybe I can eventually kill the migraines with kindness.
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