Sitting Large

Here I am under the bright lights of a bridal fitting room watching my daughter, Jana, get her dress taken in after losing 25 lbs.  And then I see myself sitting large in one of the many obnoxiously in-your-face mirrors.  There’s no escaping it.  I am big.  But I’m working to change that.

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Weight Watchers® has worked in the past, and I’m counting on it again.  My trouble was that I didn’t stick with the maintenance part of the plan.  I chose food again and again.  It’s been my drug of choice since my mother died.  I think it was because I missed her so much and food filled that emptiness.  My dad also was freer with money and allowed any snack a teenager could want.  When he was still able to go shopping, he’d come home with my favorite goodies and I know it was his way of showing he loved me.

Still as years have gone by and I psychologically know the root causes of overeating, I have chosen the path of most destruction in going for food and more food.  At my age, I know better.  It’s not too late for me to change.  I’m proud of my daughter’s weight loss.  I know when you weigh less you look and feel better.  Those are the plain and simple facts.

So I bid adieu to the largess woman in this mirrored (oh the horrors!) bridal shop.  I want to be free of the weight burden and free of the endless food addiction. I can do it even if it takes a long time. Next time I’m in front of mirrors like this I want to see a smaller woman staring back at me.

About andreamarjulie

Just trying to navigate a life circumvented by chronic migraines. Sometimes I write about managing with those, but at other times I am prone to deviate a bit.
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