At Long Last

At long last peace, whereas all weekend there has been none.  And since normal doesn’t define me, my agenda differs from others.  I yearn for quiet when noise is everywhere.  There are no nooks and crannies in this rented beach house.  Should I ever inherit millions, I’ll be sure my dream home has a zen room where noise cannot penetrate.

But finally, early to bed go most.  In this microcosm of relatives, the constant bombardment of television exists.  From the moment they wake up until sleep is one nod away, TV is their main companion.  So I’ve found my reading nook tonight by the north window.  I have a candle lit.  The ocean roars but in competition with the downstairs blare of the television.  I’m hoping the perpetrator will shut it down soon so I can have undisturbed bliss for a couple hours at least.

This is what I escape to the beach for.  I don’t want constant noise.  I don’t think a lot of people know how to just “be”.  Maybe it scares them to be alone with their thoughts.  Because really, there are no pauses in their lives.  TV, radio, loud talk ~ rinse, lather, repeat.

So I analyze here and will let go.  I’d prefer not to have big group vacations anymore because the migraine brain is oh such a fickle, ornery, demanding beast.  As I capitulate to its needs, I attempt to seek out peace and end up frustrated when that’s impossible to find.  Had the weather stayed sunny and 70° as it was when we first arrived, I’d have reveled in some outdoor spot away from the blares.  But May found February, migraine found me, and I ended up spending about a fourth of my daytime hours in bed!  Ah yes, the high price of eking out some semblance of normalcy.

Now is all that matters though.  The TV downstairs has finally quieted.  Yankee Candle’s Margarita Time smells heavenly, and I can hear the tumbling of the waves like a beautiful undisturbed symphony.  The people who like having TV and radio on all the time don’t know what they’re missing.  I’m grateful for this moment. 

About andreamarjulie

Just trying to navigate a life circumvented by chronic migraines. Sometimes I write about managing with those, but at other times I am prone to deviate a bit.
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