Have You Tried _______?

Not again.  Puhleeaze.  And from someone I don’t know except for being political allies on Twitter?  Why does everyone from friend to Avon lady to  practical stranger and everyone else in between feel the need to provide medical counseling on the subject of my migraines.

My migraines.  Mine.  Key word.  Do I have stupid written on my forehead?  Do people think I just suffer away without having done any research or that I haven’t consulted medical professionals on the subject?

The suggesters are all well meaning.  I know that.  The ones closest to me are looking to help.  But I don’t want help.  I’ve been guilted into trying so many different herbs, drugs, practices, all to no avail, and I am done.  Unless there’s a medical study supporting a new treatment, I refuse to take any more advice on the subject of my migraines.

I thought I was done a month ago when someone kindly put forth that she read an article saying that if one purposefully caused their own brain freeze it eliminated the migraine.  Yeah, right, I thought.  Yet, one day when I was thirsty, suffering from a migraine, and had a strawberry lemonade smoothie before me, I decided to test the theory.  Let me put the resulting three day migraine into perspective – picture having a brain freeze and multiple that by five.  It was torture to say the least, and every medicine that usually brings down or alleviates my migraines couldn’t touch that one.

So now I have someone badgering me on Twitter, filling my dms (direct messages) about some energy art, Tao, dragon slayer stuff.  I have politely explained my viewpoints and management of my migraines, but he wasn’t buying it.  He kept pushing this program at me like an old snake oil salesman.  I have decided not to respond anymore.

Would he be touting the same program to a diabetic?  Probably not, would be my guess.  Migraines are a disease.  Period.  They are not like having hiccups where any wacky suggestion just might work.  Yet like the brain freeze suggestion, people seem to think the same applies.

And sometimes people who are close to me are adament that I try what they are recommending.  Usually, the person will throw in a knife twist, evoking guilt if I don’t.  Case in point was when my good friend told me acupuncture worked on someone she knew who had MS and migraines!  So how could I not try this if it worked on someone who suffered more than I did?  The acupuncture?  It worked great on my back.  Didn’t touch the migraines.  If anything, they’d be worse after laying face down with my head tightly framed by the peek-a-boo hole in the table for forty-five minutes.

Another friend had specific drugs in mind.  She knew of a Vietnam veteran who had PTSD and migraines.  He tried a tryptiline med combined with a beta blocker (which I already take for a sloppy heart).  It worked for him!  Knife twist time again along with my husband urging me to try it. 

I ended up seeing a neurologist who quickly determined that my migraines were all rebound-effect (from taking the triptans and painkiller regimen I adhered to because they actually worked!).  She didn’t hear me when I told her that I’d gone on drug holidays in the past to no avail.  She didn’t take into account my crazy overdrive system in my body which I felt my migraines were part of.  This doctor did try all sorts of anti-seizure meds after the horrible fail of the triptiline drug.  I think I made it to day three on that medication when one of the worst migraines ever had me up all night standing, my head occasionally pressed against the cold metal front door.  Six months later, I left her.  This was a road I should have never gone down except for the pressure I felt to do it.

I also get “If I had migraines, I’d do anything to get rid of them.”  Seriously?  I bet after a few wild goose chases these people would be over it too.  I just want to deal with these migraines in peace and with a lighter purse.  Each avenue pursued has meant spending money to chase after cures.  Somewhere in a bedroom drawer lies a black necklace made with magnetic beads.  The magnet jewelry is supposed to get rid of arthritis, muscle aches, and migraines.  The necklace was $40 and I added in shipping too.  I might just as well have taken the money and thrown it in the garbage.

I have a list of over seventy things I have tried for migraines.  The only thing that works to some degree are triptans.  However, the insurance only covers enough for half a month.  This means that I sometimes try to wait out a headache to see if it advances to migraine level.  I try to conserve the medicine.  But then I usually underestimate the potential migraine, and it’s too late to do much therapeutic good by the time I take the triptan.  Other times, the pill triptan takes hours before working, while the injected triptan works quickly to slay the migraine but it returns after so many hours.

So please.  Don’t criticize me for drinking soda pop because you’re sure that must be causing my migraines.  Don’t tell me that I must not be hydrating myself if I get hot.  And don’t advise that I need exercise, water, diet change, frequent orgasms, a chiropractor, less stress, a hysterectomy (yes, my sisters & husband pushed for that one for eight years.  Had one for medical reasons in March, and no, it did not stop the migraines).  You may mean well, but I mean well too when I say that I’m the biggest and best advocate for my migraines.  So please just leave me be or if you really want to alert me to the latest remedy, then share the link with me, and spare me the fanfare.  If as many people tried to cure the economy as they try to cure my migraines, this country might just be in better shape.  Uh, unless it requires a  brain freeze or involves magnets!

(These are my opinions only, not meant as medical advice to anyone).