After nineteen years of wasting time, energy and spirit on disliking this house, I have decided to kick the habit. As Dr. Phil would likely ask, “How’s your hating the house been working for you?” Answer: “It hasn’t been working at all.” My dismissal of this home as less than ideal has merely bred excess discontent and negativity week after week, year after year.
I must learn to be at peace with what is at hand now in my life. There are wonderful, inspirational people on Twitter whose joy in life is contagious. It is through them that I am learning to feed my soul. This house has not been all so terrible really. We have hosted many holidays and get-togethers in previous years. We raised our two children here. They both learned to ride bikes in the yard. The years on this junior acre have been mostly kind to us. And really, the house is what it is. Maybe it’s not the dream home I envisioned or even half the dream home, but it’s a warm place to stay, and we are safe here.
Letting go of my grumpy overview of the house feels freeing. It is just the start to trying to lead a better soul- enriching life. My low self esteem and worrisome nature take up too much room in my mind. Having those anxious, self-defeating thoughts keeps me mired in one place, never really getting anywhere.
Yes, I have tried before to be more positive, complain less, embrace serenity. However, I did not try to equip myself with any tools for refueling my empty spiritual fuel tank. So I am working on changing my inner dialogue, planning on writing this blog more often as in at least two times a week, I am keeping a gratitude/positivity journal, I intend to read mote boots, and I am going to write poems.
I think that’s a good start for now. I have already rolled up my sleeves and begun to stop the nay-saying about this house. I have been revved up by some good motivational bloggers/spiritual counselors today. I am ready to do this!