There is still fall out from my feelings of inadequacy over the unflattering/fattering pictures taken of me. I know this isn’t healthy. I cannot keep beating myself up over something that can’t be undone. This is ridiculous.
I need some “buddy” who is also on the wholesome path of discovering their core self. If anyone who is reading this blog and watched The Oprah Show when Geneen Roth was the special guest, discussing her book Women, Food & God, and you are digging to the core, throwing out all the bad dirt – let me know. After this vacation I will look for people too. I really want to do this. I want to succeed without harranguing myself time and again.
So, though I started writing this yesterday, I am here at Niagara Falls, taking snapshots in my mind. I can look far out onto the wide blue expanse of the river as it is first innocuous, smooth, almost still. Then it gathers momentum, currents moving swiftly, then frothing into wild rapids, until over this big horseshoe shape cliffside it cascades explosively.
It is truly amazing. Maybe it offers up some symbols for life, as do most things we encounter. There is freedom in the fall. It might be tumultuous and treacherous, but the water gathers and continues on. It regains strength and bond after the dispersement, becoming powerful again. That is strong symbolism for any of life’s setbacks, no matter how small. We can regroup and go forward. Anytime we permit ourselves.